Phantom of the Opera

I just netflixed* Phantom of the Opera, a la Joel Schumacher. I went in to this with my eyes wide open. I knew that it would suck. I embraced this fact. What I didn’t know was how much it would suck. I am sorry to say that it sucked more than I had anticipated.

In true Schumacher form, the acting, plot, and various details that we loved from the original were lost in the glitz and glamour that only Schumacher can create. Batman is a perfect example. Burton made Gotham City dark, grungy, and generally gothic (Gotham was not just a clever name, after all). Schumacher made Gotham city look like a rave. The transition for PotO was just as bad, if not worse, as this isn’t just a Schumacher adaptation, but a Schumacher musical, as well.

I like musicals. I say this openly and freely. I sing along with Robert Preston without remorse. I love the music from PotO. While the movie had pieces from a fair number of the original songs, it wasn’t enough for me. In fact, because they were so segmented and lost in all the glitz, it only frustrated me that I couldn’t hear them in their entirety.

On a positive note, I will say that Christine wasn’t bad. Everyone else left room for improvement, but the singing didn’t altogether suck. Minnie Driver didn’t do her own singing, which was obvious, and appreciated.

I haven’t read the book, nor did I see the stage performances. I have heard the original cast recordings and highlights, which had been my only exposure to the story in any way, except that I saw Phantom which was a musical written at the same time, just not by Andrew Lloyd Weber. In all honesty, I prefered that stage performance to this Hollywood tripe.

If you liked the original production, or any of its media, don’t watch this movie. You would get better use from the DVD if you were to grind the disc down to a dust, pour the particles of grainy plastic in to your eyes, then rinse them with lemon juice.

*yes, netflixed is now a verb