I recently saw this Harrison Ford film, and found it to be better than I had anticipated. It’s moderately predictable, and the acting is only moderately okay. The two reasons to see the movie are as follows:

1) Mary Lynn Rajskub. She plays Ford’s secretary, and her performance is awesome. The character is perfect for her, as it’s almost like Chloe in 24, but not quite so awkward. I always had issues with guys fawning over Chloe in the show, as the character isn’t all that warm, but this character/performance breaks that mold just enough that it’s good stuff. There’s also a level of irony in her playing the secretary to the IT guy.

2) A talk with the director and Ford in the Special Features. I was doen with the movie, and wasn’t ready for bed, so I gave the features a look. As it turns out, this part was better than the movie in a few ways. It becomes apparent early on that while the director technically made this movie, he was Ford’s tool, and he knew it. They even admitted that the fight scene at the end was designed by Ford, and the set for that scene was adjusted to Ford’s wishes. Ford talks about the intention in scenes, and truly trying to get the most out of it (almost like he’s worked with Spielberg or something…) and the director admits to waking up and just going out there and doing it. Ford tries to point out that there is a school of thinking that believes in this method, but it’s obvious that he thinks the guy is a hack. HILARIOUS.

I knew nothing about the movie going in to the theater. This was a good thing, with one exception. I needed a little history lesson that the movie did an okay job of explaining, but I’d say that you should read that if you don’t know abything about Guy Fawkes. They cover it pretty early in the movie, so there aren’t any spoilers. Hell, this all happened 400 years ago, so I’d say it’s fair game at this point. Oh, and King Kong dies at the end of his movie, as does Mozart. Sorry.

Natalie Portman puts forth her best work, in my opinion. She was pretty good in Closer, but I had a hard time relating to or caring about her character in that movie. In V, she’s simply awesome. Her development is excellent, and her acting is superb. Apart from her, there are sporadic appearances by British actors you may have seen here and there, and then of course there is V himself, a “terrorist” to some, a revolutionary to others, who was played brilliantly by… I’m not going to say. Why? Well, because I didn’t know until I watched the credits roll, at which point I exclaimed, “Are you fucking kidding me?! It was him?! He’s such the bomb!” I wouldn’t want to deprive you the same reaction, so if you don’t know already, don’t go trying to find out.

The script was excellent, as was the cinematography. All around this was one of the better movies I’ve seen in a long time. I will buy it when it comes out on DVD, and I don’t regret seeing it in the theater, not even for a moment. Two thumbs way up.

I had seen the original King Kong many years ago, and couldn’t get around the crazy effects. I suppose the man in the ape suit was just so enthralling that I didn’t have time to pay attention to what the story was about. The effects in this version are much more believable, what with Weta’s mad skillz, and allow you to forget that there aren’t really 25 foot gorillas, tyrannosaurus rexes, and bloodthirsty native peoples armed with spears trying to kill invaders. Well, that last one might exist somewhere, but I’m fairly certain these were manufactured natives.

The story was the classic beauty and the beast story. Jackson spent a lot of time on this, and did a great job. My only criticism is that he spent a lot of time on several other things, some not necessary, which made the movie drag. All of the action, even just Kong swinging around, was awesome, it was just the side stories that bogged down the movie. 3 hours wasn’t necessary.

Overall, I had a good time. I’ll probably end up buying it. It’s no LotR, but then what can be? When you hit a Grand Slam like that, your next at bat, no matter how good, won’t be as good.

Peter Jackson Fanboys(girls): Keep an eye out for a certain cage on the boat. They couldn’t possibly have a “Sumatran Rat Monkey” on board, could they? :)

Downey plays an excon turned actor, and Kilmer plays the gay private detective that will teach him the trade for an upcoming role. In their time together they become entangled in murder, mishief, and mayhem. It’s a great little mystery movie, which is a genre long forgotten by mainstream Hollywood.

The pacing was all over the place here and there, but overall I’d say that it’s worth seeing. If you’re on the fence, it is absolutely worth the rental fee.

This is the tale of a Post-Apocalyptic society after an outbreak of dragons take over the world. This sounds hokey, but it is pulled off well enough. Everything is sufficiently covered in ash and dirt, and the fact that a group of people have taken a castle in England as their home makes it that much cooler, especially since they don’t really bring any attention to this fact. The story starts out with Christian Bale’s mother being killed by a dragon, which brings about that little bit of bitterness that you know will ultimately lead to said dragon’s destruction. He later grows up to lead this group of people.

The dragons were really, really realistic. I bought it. They moved, flew, and blew fire like I would imagine a dragon would do so. They even rationalized the fire breathing, and that made sense. Best dragon in a movie ever? Possibly, but I haven’t seen Goblet of Fire yet, so we’ll see, but from what I’ve seen, they’re better than GoF.

So, there they are, minding their own business in this castle, on the brink of possible starvation, when the Americans show up, led by Matthew McConaughey, in tanks and a helicopter. They are US Military, and, you guessed it, are Dragon Slayers. There are people that jump out of helicopters and shoot nets at dragons. These scenes are bad ass.

I won’t lie to you, the dialogue is not always the best. There is even a point where someone jumps the shark, except they jumped the dragon. I wish that I were just being clever here, but that’s what actually happens. It’s pretty bad.

Overall it was fun to watch, it was believable, and Christian Bale was awesome.

The scene where he and a friend recreate scenes from the Empire Strikes Back for the children of the castle that have never seen a TV, let alone Star Wars is hilarious.

Go watch it.

To taunt her I started adding movies of his to our netflix queue. This was a blessing in disguise for me. You might ask yourself, “Why the hell would you encourage her to watch movies with him in them?” Well, beside the obvious answer that it might turn her on, there’s the fact that sometimes he can play a full on prick, which makes her like him less, even if only for a moment. GI Jane is a good example of this, as is Boiling Point. A Walk on the Moon is not a good example, as not only is he a cool guy, but you get to see his bare ass, if that’s your thing.

The latest movie to get to us was Daylight, starring Sylvester Stallone. I was very much reminded of The Poseiden Adventure with Gene Hackman, except that these people were stuck in a tunnel that was right side up, and this movie sucked. Correction, it is so bad, it is good. I can’t tell you how many times Milca and I laughed out loud during the course of this movie. Sly and Viggo each have their own level of hilarity, and both are worth seeing. My personal favorite was when Sly was trying to get in to the tunnel by way of the ventilation system.

Rentworthy, but you might want to netflix it.

Final Cut with Robin Williams slipped under the radar when it was released, I guess. I had never heard of it until I was told by Netflix that I would like it. Sure enough, they were right. Imagine that humans can receive implants in their eyes before they are born so that all of what they see and hear is recorded and that these recordings are spliced by “Cutters” to make a “Rememory,” which is similar to a wake or funeral. Robin Williams plays a Cutter in this drama which I really enjoyed. I was able to make some predicitons early on, but all in all it was good. The pacing was a bit slow, but it did get somewhere. Rent, don’t buy.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou may take some time to sink in. I love Wes Andersen movies, but this one was a bit different. How it was different I couldn’t quite say, but it just didn’t have that appeal that Royal Tenebaums or Bottle Rocket had. It was fun to watch, and God knows I love me some Bill Murray. I really enjoyed Willem Dafoe’s performance, along with most of the rest of the cast. I don’t know what I’d say about this movie, really. I think I should watch it again. My mind is still trying to absorb a good deal of it.

Season 2 of 24 rocked my socks. My only question would be, “How many times can that girl get in to trouble in one fucking day?!” Oh, that, and all the little clues about what is going to happen next (3rd) season, and why the hell is that character from season 1 showing up NOW?! Must watch, must start with the first season. (see previous review for season 1).

I hope you don’t think this review is negative. Far from it. You must have an understanding of the kind of film you would be watching. If you want a classicly good film, you should watch something else. If you want a movie that is fun to watch, full of action, contains a boat load of cheesy oneliners, and an abundance of pseudo-patriotism, then go ahead and rent this guy.

I had heard that the basic plotline was stolen from the Da Vinci Code, so I opted not to see this movie until after I saw the movie, just in case there was something stolen from the book that might have ruined my experience. This was not the case, except for the fact that there was a hidden valuable of sort that involved some hard to reach historical artifact, and that there was an ensuing treasure hunt.

I liked it. It was fun to watch, the emotional involvement with the characters was decent enough, and the action was pretty cool. But that’s not what I really liked about it. The fact is that this DVD has some nifty extras. You have to go on a little treasure hunt of your own to get some secret codes that will unlock the extras. I would be more than happy to give these to you, however they are simple enough to find. There’s an intital code to get to a second level (3 digits, each being 0-9), and this code is all but given to you in the booklet with the DVD. The second level then has another code for you to find (4 digits, but there are only 4 possible digits that can’t be repeated, so I did process of elimination to find that one). Once this last code is discovered, you will be given a master code to enter at the very beginning so that from now on you don’t have to jump through hoops, you just go straight to the extras, which include a trivia subtitle track a la Ghostbusters.

Definitely worth the rent, maybe even the purchase. Good times.

In true Schumacher form, the acting, plot, and various details that we loved from the original were lost in the glitz and glamour that only Schumacher can create. Batman is a perfect example. Burton made Gotham City dark, grungy, and generally gothic (Gotham was not just a clever name, after all). Schumacher made Gotham city look like a rave. The transition for PotO was just as bad, if not worse, as this isn’t just a Schumacher adaptation, but a Schumacher musical, as well.

I like musicals. I say this openly and freely. I sing along with Robert Preston without remorse. I love the music from PotO. While the movie had pieces from a fair number of the original songs, it wasn’t enough for me. In fact, because they were so segmented and lost in all the glitz, it only frustrated me that I couldn’t hear them in their entirety.

On a positive note, I will say that Christine wasn’t bad. Everyone else left room for improvement, but the singing didn’t altogether suck. Minnie Driver didn’t do her own singing, which was obvious, and appreciated.

I haven’t read the book, nor did I see the stage performances. I have heard the original cast recordings and highlights, which had been my only exposure to the story in any way, except that I saw Phantom which was a musical written at the same time, just not by Andrew Lloyd Weber. In all honesty, I prefered that stage performance to this Hollywood tripe.

If you liked the original production, or any of its media, don’t watch this movie. You would get better use from the DVD if you were to grind the disc down to a dust, pour the particles of grainy plastic in to your eyes, then rinse them with lemon juice.

*yes, netflixed is now a verb

There will be 13 books in the Series of Unfortunate Events series written by Lemony Snicket. As of now, there are 11 books* completed, and I have read them all. At first it was because I wanted to see the movie, but would only do so when I had read the first 3 books, on which the movie was based. Having completed these 3 books, I was hopelessly hooked, and forced myself to read the remaining books before allowing myself to see the movie. In the end this was a good decision, as they subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, hinted at future plot lines that the following books took great pains eluding to over the course of the first 6 or 7 books.

My friend Asha tried to get me to read the Harry Potter books some time ago, and I wouldn’t have any of it. The hype, the merch, and the fact that any 5 year old girl wanted to marry Harry made me very hesitant to touch anything that had that lightning bolt on it. Then there was this girl I liked at work that had read them, so I succumbed, and I was hooked. These books had a similar effect on me.

Like the Harry Potter books, the first few were more of an introduction to themes, concepts, and of course characters. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Beaudelaire are 3 children whose parents are killed in a fire that also destroys their home. As if this wasn’t enough, they are moved from home to home being chased down by Count Olaf, a right bastard, and his acting troupe, who are all trying to get their hands on the Beaudelaire fortune. This, of course, is only the backbone of the story, and there is definitely a point where you might say “the plot thickens.” This happens several times. And it does. And it is SOOOOO good.

The Harry Potter books took a long time to read. Don’t get me wrong, I read Order of the Phoenix in 24 hours exactly, which I wouldn’t consider a long time, per se. However, I could have read all of the Lemony Snicket books in the same time it took me to read the first 4 Harry Potter books. These books are shorter, have smaller pages, and have bigger print. You could easily read the first three books in a day or so.

I’d love to go on and on, but I could only do so if I gave away vital plot points. What I will say is that these children are badasses, in their own right. They are constantly underestimated by their foes, and the people that are supposed to be protecting them, and they always seem to move on. Bad shit constantly happens to them, hence the title of the series, but they come out of it alive, which is an accomplishment in its own right.

If you were even mildly entertained by the Harry Potter books, READ THESE BOOKS ASAP. I had to borrow them myself, otherwise I would offer to loan them out.

*I would like to ask that a Literature/Books category be added to the blog.