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Arrested Development

Milca and I had one last present that we hadn’t gotten to yet. In all honesty, all of the other gifts were easy to deal with with the exception of this one, as they either hung on a wall, or came in an envelope. Our favorite Jew, Dan, gave us the first season of Arrested Development. I had heard of the show, which is to say I knew it existed, who most of the major stars in it were, and that one of the characters was in jail. The other day I opened it up, and started watching. Jesus, this is some funny shit.

The entire cast is hilarious. Every member of this family is a well developed character, whether we’re talking about the responsible brother, played by Jason Bateman, that has to tie the family and the family business together, the father who is in jail (hence the need to keep everything together), the manipulative mother that seems to undo all that he does, his older brother (a failed magician), his younger brother (he’s pretty much retarded), his twin sister (unemployed, sexy, and lazy), his brother in law (a therapist turned actor played brilliantly by David Cross), or his son (a confused teenager that has the hots for his cousin).

The basic story line is that the father of this family goes to jail because he was stealing money and doing generally shady shit. The family is now broke, and they are not comfortable with that.

Must watch. I’m already half way through the 2nd of 3 discs, and I intend to watch them again with Milca, who was wary about watching them until she heard me rant.

Dan, I love you. Thank you!

Posted in General, Reviews, Television.

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By chris – September 26, 2005

ICE Your Cellphone

Paramedics will turn to a victim’s cell phone for clues to that person’s identity. You can make their job much easier with a simple idea that they are trying to get everyone to adopt: ICE.

ICE stands for In Case of Emergency. If you add an entry in the contacts list in your cell phone under ICE, with the name and phone number of the person that the emergency services should call on your behalf, you can save them a lot of time and have your loved ones contacted quickly. It only takes a few moments of your time to do.

Paramedics know what ICE means and they look for it immediately. ICE
your cell phone NOW!

Posted in General.

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By patrick – July 19, 2005

Prepare to shit yourselves, EARTH!!!

GoogleEarth that is! http://earth.google.com/ Check this shit the fuck out. <—- Look at all that cussing, you have got to see this now. Even if you’re not a nerd or dork (btw you’re a dork whether you admit it or not ;)), DO IT!

Anyways, this thing is amazing. Download, install, then double click somewhere on the globe. Then have it search for Paris, France (find the Eifel Tower). Then have it search for your address and fly home. Then click the local tab and search for movie times or some chain of eateries you like. Wow. Check out the Twin Towers construction site. Wow. Wow. Wow. Visit Eaton Canyon and tilt the camera way down and SEE how big the mountains are – even follow the old path (or you can fly around the Grand Canyon – it’s under “places” – just double click it)!!! GOD DAMN THIS THING!!!! And it still has room to be better…play with the layers – crime stats, freeway maps, local eateries, gas stations, banks…and the list goes on and on. Ok, one last thing. Turn on 3D buildings and go to LA. Tilt and rotate the camera to your heart’s content. GOD DAMN IT! Wait, isn’t this what we say we don’t want terrorists to be able to do? :shrug:

Sorry. I’m a little bit excited. DOWNLOAD IT!!!

In related news, imagine what the Government has access to! I’m never leaving my home again. I’m going now to clean my underwear.

Posted in General.

2 comments

By patrick – July 2, 2005

3:30am Makes Me Want To Poo

I actually kinda like waking somewhere between 2 and 4am and beginning a trip. It’s slightly more adventurous. It’s a little like Christmas. You go to sleep early, and when your alarm goes off you shake the sleep from your eyes and embark. The lighting is different outside at this time of night. The streets are hushed and deserted because, of *course*, most people are home in bed, asleep.

I like leaving on a journey at this time.

I do NOT like being the one who awakes to facilitate the embarking on a journey, but then has to go back to bed, wake up – AGAIN – and go to work at 8:30 the next morning.

It especially rankles me to have to drive through the seedy parts of Los Angeles (with all the scary homeless people standing around and staring at you as you drive by) in order to accomplish this.

The final irritation is to wake up (the second time), sleepy as hell, knowing that somewhere, someone (not YOU!) is speeding down a freeway (even if it has to be by way of bus) on his way to parts unknown.

Sigh.

Posted in General, Rant.

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By patrick – June 29, 2005

Grokster Decision

Today, the Supreme Court, in its *infinite wisdom*, handed down its decision reversing the 9th Circuit’s dismissal of claims for contributory and vicarious infringement in MGM v. Grokster (and Streamcast – aka Morpheus).

Distinguishing the case from Universal v. Sony where the court recognized “the substantial non-infringing uses” of VCR’s as a defense to liability, today’s court held that, “where evidence goes beyond a product’s characteristics or the knowledge that it may be put to infringing uses, and shows statements or actions directed to promoting infringement, Sony’s staple-article rule will not preclude liability.”

This evidence centered on an advertisement and marketing scheme, whereby both Grokster and Streamcast sought to capture Napster’s former audience by promising access to more copyrighted work than ever, through a new sort of decentralized/unmonitored network which would not be vunlnerable to liability under the Napster decision.

Grokster has been remanded to the lower court for a final decision, but the legs of the defense have been kicked right out. The court has stated that, “one who distributes a device with the object of promoting its use to infringe copyright, as shown by clear expression or other affirmative steps taken to foster infringement, is liable for the resulting acts of infringement by third parties.” The court concludes by ordering consideration of summary judgement for MGM. In my novice eyes, the situation does not look good for Grokster and Streamcast.

On the bright side, I suppose it’s only a matter of time before some new corporation puts this standard to the test by promoting its filesharing software *as intended solely for the sharing of non-infringing files*, taking every step to warn against copying, and no steps to actually prevent it – because monitoring would just be too expensive right? Grokster and Streamcast piggy-backed on Napster just like that and got away with it for a couple of good years before this decision, making tons of money through advertising revenue targeted at a user base of 100 million.

The question is not if, but when someone will take the small steps necessary to escape the reach of this decision and fill the market gap left by the collapse of Grokster and Morpheus. They just can’t document the plan to be the next big thing like Grokster did. (locating the company in international waters or in a 3rd world nation which doesn’t follow TRIPS might also be good thinking.)

Limewire seems to be the hot stuff these days – I imagine we’ll soon see if they’ve been careful enough to withstand the fallout of this decision.

Link to Grokster Decision

Posted in General, Legal.

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By patrick – June 27, 2005

There’s Something About Summer

I think it originates with childhood.

Along the same lines is Winter. The snowsuits and the feeling of waking up to a snow day. The hush of the snow covered world, the hot chocolate and the watching of fat snowflakes as they fall past your window. The twilight as you’re still outside, soaked to the skin, red nose and cheeks. That last slide down the snowbank.

(Ahh, just thinking about it is making me cold!)

But Summer…sweet, sweet Summer.

When I think of Summer, I think of warm nights where you sit on the porch into dark. You don’t need a sweater, and you don’t need to put the light on. You descend into the night on a darkness that breathes. Crickets and frogs, fire crackers in July, the neighborhood kids playing kick the bucket.

I think of the house with the windows and doors all flung wide open. The buttery sunshine that plays on the floor. The fan that you sit in front of when you’re hit full force by the heat and humidity that come with Summer. You’re constantly wilted and sweaty, but isn’t it good?

I think of the beach in the evening, after they stop making you pay to get in, and the worst of the heat has gone. Hot dogs, hamburgers, italian sandwiches with potato chips, macaroni salad. And the mountains of sand in the bathtub after you get home.

Summer is for (what else?) Summer Camp. Where you giggle in the darkness even after repeated reprimands from the counselors. Campfires, and doughboys, and silly songs and mosquitos and the craft shack and swimming lessons.

Summer is also for canoe trips. Where you pitch your tent on the shore of the river, and it’s SO SO dark that you can see a billion stars and the twinkling fireflies. Where you are SO SO far from civilization that the only noise you hear is the water and the hum of insects.

It’s like comfort food. Only it lasts a whole three months.

As I got older, I entered new phases of life. Summer jobs, college classes. And now, as Summer starts this year I sit in an office and look out the window and yearn to be frolicking in the grass or setting up a roadside lemonade stand.

Summer won’t ever be the same, but, goddamn, when the sun comes out and the days get longer, and I can step outside without a coat…I know my time has come.

Posted in General.

2 comments

By patrick – June 23, 2005

Daylight

My wife loves Viggo Mortensen. I understand this. You know that “list” you have with your significant other of celebrities that you are allowed to bone if the opportunity presents itself? Her list has one name on it. Viggo.

To taunt her I started adding movies of his to our netflix queue. This was a blessing in disguise for me. You might ask yourself, “Why the hell would you encourage her to watch movies with him in them?” Well, beside the obvious answer that it might turn her on, there’s the fact that sometimes he can play a full on prick, which makes her like him less, even if only for a moment. GI Jane is a good example of this, as is Boiling Point. A Walk on the Moon is not a good example, as not only is he a cool guy, but you get to see his bare ass, if that’s your thing.

The latest movie to get to us was Daylight, starring Sylvester Stallone. I was very much reminded of The Poseiden Adventure with Gene Hackman, except that these people were stuck in a tunnel that was right side up, and this movie sucked. Correction, it is so bad, it is good. I can’t tell you how many times Milca and I laughed out loud during the course of this movie. Sly and Viggo each have their own level of hilarity, and both are worth seeing. My personal favorite was when Sly was trying to get in to the tunnel by way of the ventilation system.

Rentworthy, but you might want to netflix it.

Posted in Movies, Reviews.

2 comments

By chris – June 9, 2005

Final Cut, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and 24 Season 2

I just went through all 3 of my Netflix discs, and thought that they each deserved mentioning, but I didn’t want to make seperate posts, so I’ll make one big’un. Here goes…

Final Cut with Robin Williams slipped under the radar when it was released, I guess. I had never heard of it until I was told by Netflix that I would like it. Sure enough, they were right. Imagine that humans can receive implants in their eyes before they are born so that all of what they see and hear is recorded and that these recordings are spliced by “Cutters” to make a “Rememory,” which is similar to a wake or funeral. Robin Williams plays a Cutter in this drama which I really enjoyed. I was able to make some predicitons early on, but all in all it was good. The pacing was a bit slow, but it did get somewhere. Rent, don’t buy.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou may take some time to sink in. I love Wes Andersen movies, but this one was a bit different. How it was different I couldn’t quite say, but it just didn’t have that appeal that Royal Tenebaums or Bottle Rocket had. It was fun to watch, and God knows I love me some Bill Murray. I really enjoyed Willem Dafoe’s performance, along with most of the rest of the cast. I don’t know what I’d say about this movie, really. I think I should watch it again. My mind is still trying to absorb a good deal of it.

Season 2 of 24 rocked my socks. My only question would be, “How many times can that girl get in to trouble in one fucking day?!” Oh, that, and all the little clues about what is going to happen next (3rd) season, and why the hell is that character from season 1 showing up NOW?! Must watch, must start with the first season. (see previous review for season 1).

Posted in Movies, Reviews.

1 comment

By chris – May 31, 2005

National Treasure

Jerry Bruckheimer doesn’t make classicly good cinema. Nicolas Cage is hit or miss, as he is either acting, or he is playing some variation of his character from The Rock. This is a perfect example, as National Treasure and The Rock are but two of the four movies these two have worked on, the other two being Con Air and Gone in 60 Seconds. Seeing a patern here? The pattern doesn’t falter, I assure you.

I hope you don’t think this review is negative. Far from it. You must have an understanding of the kind of film you would be watching. If you want a classicly good film, you should watch something else. If you want a movie that is fun to watch, full of action, contains a boat load of cheesy oneliners, and an abundance of pseudo-patriotism, then go ahead and rent this guy.

I had heard that the basic plotline was stolen from the Da Vinci Code, so I opted not to see this movie until after I saw the movie, just in case there was something stolen from the book that might have ruined my experience. This was not the case, except for the fact that there was a hidden valuable of sort that involved some hard to reach historical artifact, and that there was an ensuing treasure hunt.

I liked it. It was fun to watch, the emotional involvement with the characters was decent enough, and the action was pretty cool. But that’s not what I really liked about it. The fact is that this DVD has some nifty extras. You have to go on a little treasure hunt of your own to get some secret codes that will unlock the extras. I would be more than happy to give these to you, however they are simple enough to find. There’s an intital code to get to a second level (3 digits, each being 0-9), and this code is all but given to you in the booklet with the DVD. The second level then has another code for you to find (4 digits, but there are only 4 possible digits that can’t be repeated, so I did process of elimination to find that one). Once this last code is discovered, you will be given a master code to enter at the very beginning so that from now on you don’t have to jump through hoops, you just go straight to the extras, which include a trivia subtitle track a la Ghostbusters.

Definitely worth the rent, maybe even the purchase. Good times.

Posted in Movies, Reviews.

4 comments

By chris – May 26, 2005

Phantom of the Opera

I just netflixed* Phantom of the Opera, a la Joel Schumacher. I went in to this with my eyes wide open. I knew that it would suck. I embraced this fact. What I didn’t know was how much it would suck. I am sorry to say that it sucked more than I had anticipated.

In true Schumacher form, the acting, plot, and various details that we loved from the original were lost in the glitz and glamour that only Schumacher can create. Batman is a perfect example. Burton made Gotham City dark, grungy, and generally gothic (Gotham was not just a clever name, after all). Schumacher made Gotham city look like a rave. The transition for PotO was just as bad, if not worse, as this isn’t just a Schumacher adaptation, but a Schumacher musical, as well.

I like musicals. I say this openly and freely. I sing along with Robert Preston without remorse. I love the music from PotO. While the movie had pieces from a fair number of the original songs, it wasn’t enough for me. In fact, because they were so segmented and lost in all the glitz, it only frustrated me that I couldn’t hear them in their entirety.

On a positive note, I will say that Christine wasn’t bad. Everyone else left room for improvement, but the singing didn’t altogether suck. Minnie Driver didn’t do her own singing, which was obvious, and appreciated.

I haven’t read the book, nor did I see the stage performances. I have heard the original cast recordings and highlights, which had been my only exposure to the story in any way, except that I saw Phantom which was a musical written at the same time, just not by Andrew Lloyd Weber. In all honesty, I prefered that stage performance to this Hollywood tripe.

If you liked the original production, or any of its media, don’t watch this movie. You would get better use from the DVD if you were to grind the disc down to a dust, pour the particles of grainy plastic in to your eyes, then rinse them with lemon juice.

*yes, netflixed is now a verb

Posted in Movies, Music, Rant, Reviews.

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By chris – May 16, 2005